Growth

Growth is such an interesting thing. Everyone grows-- physically, spiritually, emotionally. To be human is to live a life full of unstoppable change called growth.

I’ve been thinking of the concept of growing a lot in the past month because I’ve been especially aware of my hair growth . . . or lack thereof. I check multiple times a day to see if any new tiny prickles have sprouted on the top of my head, eyebrows, or lashes. For a while.. nada. Then, a few weeks ago, I was visiting my boyfriend Cameron in Texas. One night he kissed my head (sweet, I know) and exclaimed, “Cal!!! I think you have prickles!!!!” Immediately, we both ran to the bathroom, pulled out his iphone flashlight, then proceeded to examine my newly discovered hair growth mere centimeters from faces squished to the mirror. We rejoiced, I mean full on happy dance and fist pumps in the air, over the tiniest sign of growth. I’m talking SO tiny that you could only feel it with the soft part of your arm or lips. It was maybe .0001 mml long. But we didn’t even care because growth is growth, no matter how small it starts.

I had to give Cam $5 because 6 months ago we took a bet on when my hair would start to grow. He said early fall and I said early winter. I’ve never been so happy to lose.

When I showed other people my fuzz they gave me the courtesy, “Yay” then asked in a loving way if it really was there. But the people who are closest to me -- I dare say the people who love me the most -- have rejoiced with me over the tiniest bit of progress with no questions asked. They are the ones who are willing to repeatedly kiss my head or rub it with the underside of their arm to confirm that our excitement is indeed justified. Why? Because that is what you do when you truly love someone. You see the smallest signs of change and look forward with eager excitement to who they can become. You buy in to their vision and want to tag along for the ride.

I recently started a new journal and the cover says, “A little progress every day adds up to big results.” It is a fitting reminder for this season of healing. The long journey is composed of many small steps. Growth has to start somewhere.

Maybe like me and my hair, you are eager for growth in some area of your life. You might be getting discouraged or impatient. You might also want big results but find it hard to remember that it will take little seemingly unimportant progress every day to get there. Or maybe you need to lean into someone else’s pain and strain to see their progress --- and support it.

If I could say anything to you it would be this: surround yourself with people who will celebrate the progress with you. The .0001 mml of hair growth type progress. Better yet, be someone else’s encourager. Remember, to be human is to be ever-changing. Sometimes the small steps are noticeable. Sometimes they are almost invisible to the naked eye and require the soft part of your arm (or heart) to feel and believe.

My hair growth initiated a shift in my perspective and attitude. I no longer look at my bare head or face and think, “I’ve lost my hair and look like a naked mole rat.” Instead, every time I pass a mirror now I pause to see the prickles that have taken over my whole body. I smile when I see my nose hair or the hair on my knuckles. I’ve stopped drowning in what I’m losing because I’m overjoyed in what I’m finally gaining…  even if they are greyish prickles.

It is important to note that I was only in the position to notice my (hair) growth because I accepted love in the season of loss (extreme baldness). I let someone else love me in my barren self-consciousness through a kiss on my head. Cameron was one of the people sitting in the pit with me. And because of his willingness to wait in the darkness, he was the first person to see the break of dawn.

We all need people like that. Those are the moments that fuel the hurting and discouraged to keep going. Those are the moments that mark a good life.