HIS house, HIS will, HIS dream
There I sat, resting in a life of which I had grown to know and love. My home was familiar and it represented my journey on this earth. This "home" of mine was beautiful. I knew everything about it and it was comfortable. Hard things had happened before; yet, they made my house stronger. They made me stronger. My foundation was rock solid--my friends of the best quality and my family's bond unbreakable. Little had occurred to to rock my world in the recent months; thus, the life I had built for myself was growing close to perfection. But, I knew deep down in the crevis of my soul that something was missing. For a while I couldn't quite name the absence I felt. Then one morning, it hit me. I was missing the adventure of living a life beyond my control. You see, having a perfect life is great for a while, yet eventually it gets boring. As a Christian, God often asks us to live HIS life for us. It's a roller-coaster. It is sometimes terrifying and feels as though you might die. It often doesn't make sense and can be incredibly uncomfortable. But in the end, it is SO worth it. Well there I sat, bible cracked open, silently asking God why I wanted hard things to happen. I mean, that is a pretty insane prayer for sure. But I knew from past experiences that when things weren't going my way, I drew nearer and nearer to my Father.
I was missing the intimacy with my Creator that can only be reached in a season of testing, trying, and complete dependence. So I prayed, asking God for that intimacy. However, while doing so I didn't really count the cost, but instead focused on the end result. Little did I know how God was going to answer that prayer of mine.
So remember, this house represents my life. Well, soon I saw God walking towards me. My heart leapt for joy! Yet, when I looked closer I noticed He was holding a sledge-hammar, his facial expression of mixed emotions. All it took was one good look at Him and I knew He was about to rock my world. Fear gripped my soul; yet, a knowing trust in His character reassured me that my Father knew what He was doing. I stood outside my perfect house-- the winds raging, dark cloulds looming. He walked past me, giving me a knowing nod. In His eyes I saw love, kindness, and a desire for my best interest. Whatever He was about to do . . . well, He didn't really want to do it. I could tell it hurt His heart. But He was determined to finish the task before Him. He was doing what He had to in order to make me more like Him.
He kept walking, went up the stairs and across the front porch. He opened the front door and stepped inside. I followed, holding my breath, and watched as He glanced about my near perfect house. After taking it all in, He began walking upstairs to my room. On His way, He turned around and looked straight at me. He wore a pained expression and mouthed, "Trust me." I remained at the foot of the stairs while my mind raced with thoughts and fears. Suddenly, I heard a loud "THUD" followed by the sound of breaking glass. He was tearing my room apart! I raced up the stairs, furious that He would dare tear down what I had so carefully created and known to love. I found Him and though out of breath, cried, "S-T-O-O-O-P!! You don't know what you are doing!" His arm guided me out of my destroyed room and He peered down. He replied, "Oh but I do, my child. Just trust me." He then continued on into the next room. Things were falling, ripping apart, shattering--being so completely destroyed.
I backed into a wall, then slid down until I was crouched with my knees up, head hung low. I began sobbing...so hard that my body shook uncontrollably. I could barely see my perfect world falling apart because of the tears that flowed ever so freely. I felt betrayed, angry, so helpless. I knew my Father loved me and had a plan. Yet, how could tearing my life to pieces accomplish anything but heartache and despair? Frustrated, there I sat. Furious. Desperate. Confused. He walked past me again and all I could mutter through the sobs was, "why? why Lord?" He didn't respond but I could tell His heart was breaking even more than mine.
Room to room He went. He broke the windows, tore down the walls, ripped up my comfortable home to shreds. I tried to escape the destruction; yet, at every turn something was falling apart. He was almost done but I felt as though I could not handle any more. One more blow and I would collapse of grief and despair. I mustered up the last of my strength, slowly got to my feet, and set out to find My Lord. I decided that I would beg Him to stop. Surely He would listen. I found Him in my dream room--the most prized room in all the house. When I came to door, I stopped in my tracks. There He stood, hammer held above His head. Our eyes met and I found His were full of tears. I stood there silently and could only utter, "Please. Just stop." The tears began rolling down His face and He continued on. I began screaming, thrashing, hitting and clawing at Him. It was more than I could handle. Soon I was on my knees, begging Him in between sobs to be done and just leave.
He put down His hammer and His big, rough hand reached down and gently stroked my hair. "We are almost done, baby girl" he whispered. "Almost done. Trust me." He then scooped me up and held me tight. "I won't ever let you go. I love you too much. I have a purpose in all this. I promise." Then he gently set me down and continued on.
I had nothing left in me to protest. My heart ached. My spirit was weary. My mind couldn't get past how everything I had so carefully built and perfected was just...gone. destroyed. Yet, His words echoed in my head..."I have a purpose....Trust me." Though it made no sense, I knew He was right. I resolved to rest in His character and do what He asked--trust Him.
It wasn't long before He had finished tearing my house apart. Nothing was left but the foundation. I sat in the blowing grass, starring off into the unknown, fighting despair and complete loneliness. I was trying to trust my Father, but what purpose was He talking about? What good could come out of such sorrow?
The clouds began to roll back allowing the sun to peek through. The warmth on my face felt like a new beginning. I glanced over to see what my Father was doing only to find Him standing back, arms resting on His hips, looking at what once was my home but only remained a solid foundation. Our eyes then met and, with a bright smile on His face, He held His arms out to me. His smile gave me a new energy--a new hope. I rose and walked slowly to my Lord. With His arms around my shoulders He said, excitement filling His voice, "I told you I had a purpose. Now see . . ." He pointed at the horizon and, shielding my eyes from the light, I saw a sight that took my breath away. Truck after truck was headed our way. Each was loaded with the most magnificent supplies. Gold, rubies, pearls! The sunlight sparkled off the rare beauties headed straight towards us. Joy began to rise in my chest. Could it be that all the supplies were for me? I looked up at my Creator and was met with a knowing look in His eyes. He really did have a plan. He then pulled out a blueprint made of sparkling gold. As it unfolded I saw that it was for MY HOUSE! With a big smile and kiss on the forehead, He was off, ordering the trucks to their place. Day after day He worked. Expanding the foundation was only the beginning. Construction of the most magnificent of castles followed. Radiating the light, the gold, rubies and pearls were everywhere! Jewels I didn't even known existed filled my new home. With joy my Lord showed me room after room. While they resembled what was there before, it was all so much better. My Creator had built me a new home and it blew my mind.
After showing me His grand work, He looked down and held my face in His hands. "You see, baby girl, I knew what I was doing after all. I had a better dream for your life than you could have ever comprehended. However, in order to attain My will, I had to tear down yours. I know it hurt. It hurt me too. Yet, I think you'll agree that it was all so worth it. Thank you, my love, for trusting Me."
I was missing the intimacy with my Creator that can only be reached in a season of testing, trying, and complete dependence. So I prayed, asking God for that intimacy. However, while doing so I didn't really count the cost, but instead focused on the end result. Little did I know how God was going to answer that prayer of mine.
So remember, this house represents my life. Well, soon I saw God walking towards me. My heart leapt for joy! Yet, when I looked closer I noticed He was holding a sledge-hammar, his facial expression of mixed emotions. All it took was one good look at Him and I knew He was about to rock my world. Fear gripped my soul; yet, a knowing trust in His character reassured me that my Father knew what He was doing. I stood outside my perfect house-- the winds raging, dark cloulds looming. He walked past me, giving me a knowing nod. In His eyes I saw love, kindness, and a desire for my best interest. Whatever He was about to do . . . well, He didn't really want to do it. I could tell it hurt His heart. But He was determined to finish the task before Him. He was doing what He had to in order to make me more like Him.
He kept walking, went up the stairs and across the front porch. He opened the front door and stepped inside. I followed, holding my breath, and watched as He glanced about my near perfect house. After taking it all in, He began walking upstairs to my room. On His way, He turned around and looked straight at me. He wore a pained expression and mouthed, "Trust me." I remained at the foot of the stairs while my mind raced with thoughts and fears. Suddenly, I heard a loud "THUD" followed by the sound of breaking glass. He was tearing my room apart! I raced up the stairs, furious that He would dare tear down what I had so carefully created and known to love. I found Him and though out of breath, cried, "S-T-O-O-O-P!! You don't know what you are doing!" His arm guided me out of my destroyed room and He peered down. He replied, "Oh but I do, my child. Just trust me." He then continued on into the next room. Things were falling, ripping apart, shattering--being so completely destroyed.
I backed into a wall, then slid down until I was crouched with my knees up, head hung low. I began sobbing...so hard that my body shook uncontrollably. I could barely see my perfect world falling apart because of the tears that flowed ever so freely. I felt betrayed, angry, so helpless. I knew my Father loved me and had a plan. Yet, how could tearing my life to pieces accomplish anything but heartache and despair? Frustrated, there I sat. Furious. Desperate. Confused. He walked past me again and all I could mutter through the sobs was, "why? why Lord?" He didn't respond but I could tell His heart was breaking even more than mine.
Room to room He went. He broke the windows, tore down the walls, ripped up my comfortable home to shreds. I tried to escape the destruction; yet, at every turn something was falling apart. He was almost done but I felt as though I could not handle any more. One more blow and I would collapse of grief and despair. I mustered up the last of my strength, slowly got to my feet, and set out to find My Lord. I decided that I would beg Him to stop. Surely He would listen. I found Him in my dream room--the most prized room in all the house. When I came to door, I stopped in my tracks. There He stood, hammer held above His head. Our eyes met and I found His were full of tears. I stood there silently and could only utter, "Please. Just stop." The tears began rolling down His face and He continued on. I began screaming, thrashing, hitting and clawing at Him. It was more than I could handle. Soon I was on my knees, begging Him in between sobs to be done and just leave.
He put down His hammer and His big, rough hand reached down and gently stroked my hair. "We are almost done, baby girl" he whispered. "Almost done. Trust me." He then scooped me up and held me tight. "I won't ever let you go. I love you too much. I have a purpose in all this. I promise." Then he gently set me down and continued on.
I had nothing left in me to protest. My heart ached. My spirit was weary. My mind couldn't get past how everything I had so carefully built and perfected was just...gone. destroyed. Yet, His words echoed in my head..."I have a purpose....Trust me." Though it made no sense, I knew He was right. I resolved to rest in His character and do what He asked--trust Him.
It wasn't long before He had finished tearing my house apart. Nothing was left but the foundation. I sat in the blowing grass, starring off into the unknown, fighting despair and complete loneliness. I was trying to trust my Father, but what purpose was He talking about? What good could come out of such sorrow?
The clouds began to roll back allowing the sun to peek through. The warmth on my face felt like a new beginning. I glanced over to see what my Father was doing only to find Him standing back, arms resting on His hips, looking at what once was my home but only remained a solid foundation. Our eyes then met and, with a bright smile on His face, He held His arms out to me. His smile gave me a new energy--a new hope. I rose and walked slowly to my Lord. With His arms around my shoulders He said, excitement filling His voice, "I told you I had a purpose. Now see . . ." He pointed at the horizon and, shielding my eyes from the light, I saw a sight that took my breath away. Truck after truck was headed our way. Each was loaded with the most magnificent supplies. Gold, rubies, pearls! The sunlight sparkled off the rare beauties headed straight towards us. Joy began to rise in my chest. Could it be that all the supplies were for me? I looked up at my Creator and was met with a knowing look in His eyes. He really did have a plan. He then pulled out a blueprint made of sparkling gold. As it unfolded I saw that it was for MY HOUSE! With a big smile and kiss on the forehead, He was off, ordering the trucks to their place. Day after day He worked. Expanding the foundation was only the beginning. Construction of the most magnificent of castles followed. Radiating the light, the gold, rubies and pearls were everywhere! Jewels I didn't even known existed filled my new home. With joy my Lord showed me room after room. While they resembled what was there before, it was all so much better. My Creator had built me a new home and it blew my mind.
After showing me His grand work, He looked down and held my face in His hands. "You see, baby girl, I knew what I was doing after all. I had a better dream for your life than you could have ever comprehended. However, in order to attain My will, I had to tear down yours. I know it hurt. It hurt me too. Yet, I think you'll agree that it was all so worth it. Thank you, my love, for trusting Me."
