I Believe
The following is the journal I wrote tonight to my loving Redeemer:
God,
I BELIEVE.
I'm sitting here at a loss for words to describe all that You are and all that You've done. I feel like the boy from the Polar Express. He wanted to hear Santa's bells SO badly. He eventually got so frustrated with his unbelief that he BELIEVED. Six months ago today I was on a plane headed halfway around the world to a place that was about as foreign, scary, and full of the unknown as it can get. Leading up to the trip, like the boy, I wanted to hear Your voice. I wanted guidance pertaining to what You wanted me to do with my life. I was sick of being told that I was too young or that I needed to just be content with my perfect, comfortable life. I wanted to BELIEVE that You could use me just as I was, right in that moment.
So I prayed.
I told You that if You would use me, I would go. I was ready to get uncomfortable. I was ready for an adventure. I was ready to experience You on a whole new level. . . . I was ready.
So you answered, "Alright. LET'S GO."
And we went.
You took me on a journey that just began with going to China. It rocked my world. It broke my heart. It proved to me just how big You are. It confirmed that . . . I BELIEVE.
I BELIEVE that You are who you say You are and You do what You say You will do.
God, you want to use each and every one of us: we just need to jump on board--like the boy on the Polar Express. We might have doubts --I know I did. But that is only yet another opportunity for You to show us that You are so worth BELIEVING in.
Right now, as I sit in my bed all warm, cozy, and surrounded by my amazing family, I can't help but wish that I was once again on a crowded, not-so-comfortable plane headed to a place that stole my heart. A place full of giggles, tears, and slobber. A place so full of joy. A place where you let me see why it is so worth it to just BELIEVE.
God,
I BELIEVE.
I'm sitting here at a loss for words to describe all that You are and all that You've done. I feel like the boy from the Polar Express. He wanted to hear Santa's bells SO badly. He eventually got so frustrated with his unbelief that he BELIEVED. Six months ago today I was on a plane headed halfway around the world to a place that was about as foreign, scary, and full of the unknown as it can get. Leading up to the trip, like the boy, I wanted to hear Your voice. I wanted guidance pertaining to what You wanted me to do with my life. I was sick of being told that I was too young or that I needed to just be content with my perfect, comfortable life. I wanted to BELIEVE that You could use me just as I was, right in that moment.
So I prayed.
I told You that if You would use me, I would go. I was ready to get uncomfortable. I was ready for an adventure. I was ready to experience You on a whole new level. . . . I was ready.
So you answered, "Alright. LET'S GO."
And we went.
You took me on a journey that just began with going to China. It rocked my world. It broke my heart. It proved to me just how big You are. It confirmed that . . . I BELIEVE.
I BELIEVE that You are who you say You are and You do what You say You will do.
God, you want to use each and every one of us: we just need to jump on board--like the boy on the Polar Express. We might have doubts --I know I did. But that is only yet another opportunity for You to show us that You are so worth BELIEVING in.
Right now, as I sit in my bed all warm, cozy, and surrounded by my amazing family, I can't help but wish that I was once again on a crowded, not-so-comfortable plane headed to a place that stole my heart. A place full of giggles, tears, and slobber. A place so full of joy. A place where you let me see why it is so worth it to just BELIEVE.
