The Unknown

My life is drowning in the unknown. It seems as though everything is uncertain and out of my control. While this has been a constant state for a few years now, for the first time in my life I'm not worried. My confidence in who God is outweighs my fear of who He is not. My dad just lost his job and while that in itself is a big deal, it seems an even bigger deal because it is riding the heels of a season of grief and death and loss. The moment my dad called me and told me the news, I began to feel a sense of panic rise in my chest. My mind was racing, wondering what life was going to look like. I silently pleaded with the Father, questioning, "This too? Have we not been through enough already?" Then it is like I heard the Lord say, "If I am taking you out of something it is because I have something far better in store. While it feels like nothing seems secure, I AM....and I am all that matters."

I know I should have even just a little fear, but I don't, not in the least. Fear is simply faith in the wrong kingdom. This summer I have been working at JH Ranch, a guest ranch in Northern, CA. In addition to getting to serve pretty much all day every day, I have had some sweet moments with my Creator. My one big take away has been how interested Jesus is in me. ME. My curly red-headed self who is full of questions, a deep thinker, and laughs at everything. He is consumed with me. He is a God of the details and as His daughter I can come before Him and ask expectantly, knowing He will provide. I've asked for the smallest, seemingly most insignificant things and He has provided. I'm not even joking. Like I have this huge hill I have to walk up every day to get to work and one day I just wasn't feelin it. I asked God for a ride--it was one of those "think" prayers, not even verbal--and no joke 30 seconds later someone drove up and offered me to get in. Yesterday I couldn't find my shoe and asked Jesus for help. I found it. I was driving through town and had service (rare) for a brief moment and was trying to send my parents a picture, yet it wouldn't send. The moment I said the name Jesus, yep, you guessed it....it sent. If Yahweh cares about a text message being sent or my shoe being found, how much more does He care about my dad finding a job and providing for our family?

I am a daughter of the King and it is time I start acting like it. I know that I am cherished and that my Father loves me more than I could ever dream. I am choosing to walk in that. I am choosing to trust that Jesus is who He says He is and will do what He says He will do. He will take care of my every need, both spoken and unspoken. He knows me better than I know myself and I can rest simply in who He is--my protector, provider, and prince.

While it seems as though I am surrounded with the unknown, I do know this: "The Lord is close to all who call on him, yes, all who call on him in truth." Psalm 145:18

I am counting on the Lord; yes, I am counting on him. I have put my hope in his word. (Psalms 130:5).

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